I am a self-proclaimed cynic when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I used to think Feb. 14 was a ridiculous holiday created by Hallmark to improve its profit margin. Just when our bank accounts have recovered from Christmas we are asked to spend more money on chocolates, flowers and overpriced dinners. No thanks, I say. Until now.

My respect for Valentine’s Day skyrocketed when I researched its history, which dates back to 270 A.D. Three origination theories exist, all of which weave together Christian and Roman traditions.

The first legend stems from the third century when Emperor Claudius II reigned. Claudius the Cruel noticed young men refused to join his Roman army. He believed their lack of military interest resulted from devotion to lovers and family. To remedy this problem, Claudius canceled engagements and prohibited marriage in Rome. Saint Valentine, a Roman priest, responded to Claudius’ decree by performing secret wedding ceremonies for young couples. The Prefect of Rome discovered Valentine’s actions and ordered him clubbed and beheaded. Valentine died on Feb. 14, 270 A.D.

A second theory contends that Roman officials ordered Valentine’s death because he helped Christians escape harsh prisons where they were beaten and tortured for their faith.

Finally, a third legend states that while in prison, Valentine fell in love with the prison guard’s daughter. Before his execution he wrote her a letter and signed it, “Your Valentine.” 

Although historical details of Valentine’s Day are a little fuzzy, all three theories have one thing in common: This holiday resulted from a man who believed in love and romance.

More than 200 years before Valentine’s death, the apostle Paul also stressed the importance of love, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13) 

No one knows this kind of love more than a young engaged or newly married couple. My husband and I enjoy ministering to these couples because their love is new, fresh and untainted by the daily demands of children and household management. They love each other for who they are, not for who they hope they will become. They romance each other with creative dates, unique marriage proposals and dreams of a purposeful life together.

Yet although their romance inspires and encourages, I realize it is an imperfect, insufficient love. So I wonder: if their unfettered love is inadequate, does any fulfilling love exist?

The Sacred Romance authors Brent Curtis and John Eldredge write, “In all of our hearts lies a longing for a Sacred Romance. It will not go away in spite of our efforts over the years to anesthetize or ignore its song, or attach it to a single person or endeavor. It is a Romance couched in mystery and set deeply within us.”

They propose that even though we search for romance through relationships with people in our lives, only one relationship truly satisfies ... the relationship we find with Jesus Christ.

A relationship must possess three things before it thrives. First, a couple must spend time with one another. Work schedules, raising children, extracurricular activities and even service within the church all compete for our time and attention. Sadly, many marriages fail simply because the husband and wife wake up one day and fail to recognize the person lying next to them.

If we want to have a relationship with Jesus, we must spend time with Him. We must get to know Him on an intimate level. This requires more than just showing up at church on Sunday mornings. This kind of intimacy asks us to study the Bible, learn about Jesus’ personhood and deity, then become more like Him in character, speech and action.

Second, we must communicate with God. No relationship will survive or thrive without effective communication. Take time to pray. Tell Him what amazes you most about Him. Confess your sins. Present your thanks. Cast all your worries on Him. Through prayer you will feel a connection with your Savior.

Finally, we must engage in activities that please Jesus. My husband loves watching football on TV. Me, not so much. I don’t understand the game and I don’t know a wide receiver from a safety. But I know my husband thoroughly enjoys this American pastime. So I encourage him to watch, and I even sit down occasionally to join him. 

Our relationship with Jesus functions the same way. We need to engage in activities that He values: corporate worship, Bible study, serving others or reaching out to a wounded friend. When we spend time participating in spiritual disciplines, we grow closer to God.

This month, consider celebrating Valentine’s Day with a new perspective. Whether married or single, explore a new romance that will never disappoint. Jesus will never fail you. He will never leave you. He will never trade you for another. He is constant. He is loving. He is already in love with you. Will you love him back?

Elizabeth Oates (B.A. Baylor University; M.A.C.E. Dallas Theological Seminary) is a wife, mother and freelance writer. She and her husband, Brandon, founded Project Restoration Ministry. For more information on Elizabeth’s Bible study curriculum, Dealing with Divorce: Finding Directon When Your Parents Split Up, or to e-mail her, go to the Web site www.projectrestorationministry.org.