Ahh, the smells of Christmas — cinnamon, vanilla, peppermint, skunk.

It was technically Christmas Eve, since Thursday night had just turned into Friday morning. The kid was nestled all up on the loveseat, dreaming of sugarplums and iPods, when suddenly I heard a clatter on the porch.

I got up to see what was the matter, but seeing was not the sense that sprung into work. I suddenly smelled what was the matter and turned with a jerk. Both our dogs smelled like they had been up and down the chimney a few times with Santa Skunk.

Thank goodness the weather wasn’t yet Christmas-like, so my two brilliant, pungent pups got to spend the night outside, where they alerted me to any and every sound or movement, returned fire at every other barking dog within a half-mile radius, and otherwise whined and clicked their claws on the door in an effort to change my mind about letting them in.

If I’d had a handful of coal, I can’t say with certainty whether I would’ve pelted them or not, but Santa was probably watching, so I minded my manners. So I got up, threw on the sash, and walked to the door, where the dogs heard me exclaim, “No! Shut up!” This new holiday tradition must’ve taken place five or six times through the night.

My dogs got a bath for Christmas. Not your ordinary dog bath, though. They got the special skunk bath, which, just as the North wind brought Frosty back, magically transformed them from yard dogs back into members of our family.

Here’s the recipe for skunk shampoo in case your dog shakes hands with the wrong end of a skunk:

1 quart hydrogen peroxide

 1/4 cup baking soda

1 teaspoon dish soap

Mix the ingredients together in a bucket and shampoo the dog with it while the mixture is bubbling. Work the lather down to the skin and let it stand for 10 minutes. Make sure to cover your dog’s eyes if you’re washing its head.

It will be a long 10 minutes, and nothing you say or do will improve your dog’s opinion of you, but be strong and let the mixture do its job. You’ll be forgiven later.

Then, rinse the dog thoroughly, bury your clothes in the back yard, and use a little of the mix on yourself.

This de-odorizing concoction neutralizes the skunk smell by breaking down oils in the skunk’s spray. There’s some debate over who invented this home remedy, but there’s no doubt that it works.

Here’s hoping nobody’s Christmas stunk and everybody’s dogs stayed warm and dry.

Dove hunting

If all the gooey Christmas food and mediocre football bowl games have you wanting a little fresh air, why not head outdoors for a little winter dove hunting?

Cold fronts are pushing good numbers of dove into Central Texas, and that’s dovetailing with the second split of the dove season, which opened Saturday and continues through Jan. 9 for the North and Central dove zones. There’s a 15-bird daily bag statewide. No more than two of the limit can be white-tipped dove.

Check the Texas Parks and Wildlife’s Outdoor Annual for bag limits, possession limits and species restrictions.

www.centexoutdoors.com

717-8907