How much time is wasted by liberals snidely attacking our collegiately elected president? Moreover, how much longer must we tolerate them riling up citizens against someone who simply wants to Make America Great Again? I used intelligent design to poll some of these radicals and was given these answers: 12 years, 15 years and 49 years. Wow!
Surely they don’t think I am so ignorant of history to not realize that even these responses are chock-full of insults, referring, respectively, to the years in power of Hitler, Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro. Typical left-wing arrogance and colossal exaggeration! Enough already!
Thus I’m declaring a timeout for the remainder of this column regarding all those single-payer-loving-hip-hop-listening-Unicorn-Frappuccino-drinking-urban-coastal-living-track-jacket-wearing hooligans. For once, let’s listen solely to patriotic Republicans and conservatives who love this country more than any of those Maoists ever could. Let these right voices find common ground on which all Americans can stand.
We start with Peter Wehner, an evangelical who served in the previous three Republican administrations. He reassures us the president is “a man who believes in little or nothing, who has the impulse to burn down rather than to build up… an institutional arsonist.”
Then there’s columnist Jennifer Rubin, who we can trust because liberals tried to get her fired in 2013 for “parrot[ing] and peddl[ing] every silly right-wing theory to come down the pike in transparent attempts to get Web hits.” Rubin now praises the president’s agenda as “a peculiar mix of xenophobia, pro-Russian genuflecting, reverse Robin Hood economics and contempt for government.”
Archbishop of conservative causes (and all things baseball) George Will marvels that our president “has entered his eighth decade unscathed by even elementary knowledge about the nation’s history.”
U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley earlier referenced our future president fondly as offering “the siren call of the angriest voices,” seeing him as “a man that chooses not to disavow the KKK.” Her fellow cabinet member, Rick Perry, once lauded the same man for the healing powers of his message, calling them a “cancer on conservatism.” Republican members of the Senate likewise agree he is the greatest of all American presidents. Ever.
Sen. Ben Sasse is impressed by how the president weaponized distrust, while Sen. Ted Cruz celebrated his consistency, describing him as a “pathological liar.” Sen. Lindsey Graham regularly testifies to the president’s character, at various times calling him a “jackass,” “race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot,” “nutjob,” and “what is wrong with American politics.”
Former Louisiana GOP Gov. Bobby Jindal quickly recognized the president’s mojo, labelling him “a madman who must be stopped.” The Christian Post, an evangelical media outlet, has been witness to the president’s leadership, describing him as “dangerous,” a “misogynist and philanderer,” “a scam” and someone who never sought God’s forgiveness.
Russell Moore, who directs lobbying and policymaking for the Southern Baptist Convention, described him as morally destitute as Hillary Clinton and as a purveyor of “reality television moral sewage.” North Carolina Christian activist Michael Brown described him as offering the choice of “putting nationalism first” over the “kingdom of God.”
Rod Dreher in the May 2017 American Conservative described the president in biblical terms, suggesting he had become the object of idolatry. He prophesied that it was “beyond delusional” to think someone as “robustly vulgar, fiercely combative and morally compromised as Trump” would restore Christian morality and social unity.
No less than 75 evangelical leaders called him “morally unacceptable to us as evangelical Christians.” George W. Bush was subtler, but his admiration was clear, telling Matt Lauer that it makes it hard to criticize dictators abroad if we are not ourselves willing to tolerate an “independent free press.” Joy Beth Smith, formerly of Focus on the Family, joyfully wrote of Trump’s “nauseating” comments about women.
Now, can we all agree our Great Leader is big-league normal? As for your conscience, it can join libtard snowflakes in a timeout.