Donnis Baggett

The Associated Press recently sent over a photo of the Dalai Lama in a gimme cap. He looked good in it.

The Dalai Lama answers a question from the audience after receiving an honorary degree at Southern Methodist University on May 9 in Dallas.
LM Otero / Associated Press

The Dalai, or the Lama, or whatever it is you’re supposed to call the spiritual leader of Tibet on second reference, spoke to college students after receiving an honorary degree at SMU.

The Dalai Lama XIV said he will retire soon as head of state for the Tibetan government-in-exile. Good for him.

I’m not sure what the head of a government-in-exile does in the course of a work day, much less what a retired one does with his time. But I do know that during the years the Dalai Lama has offered up nuggets of philosophy that inspire people of all faiths on everything from tolerance to forgiveness to self-discipline.

As I studied that photo of the Dalai Lama in a gimme cap, I thought about how much he resembled some of my old buddies back in East Texas. Wearing a cap can have that effect on your image. Which is why you rarely see the Prince of Wales or the president of the United States wearing a gimme cap.

Anyway, one thought led to another and next thing you know I was reading some of the Dalai Lama’s quotes and wondering what my retired buddy Joe Ned Dean — who wears a gimme cap every day of his life — would say in response to those quotes.

Here are a few examples:

Dalai Lama — “Silence is sometimes the best answer.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Sit down, shut up and pass the biscuits.”

Dalai Lama — “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Or a mad woman.”

Dalai Lama —“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Love her tender, love her true. But don’t expect her to make your bass boat payment.”

Dalai Lama — “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Know a good lawyer, too.”

Dalai Lama — “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.”

Dalai Lama — “Instead of getting angry, nurture a deep caring and respect for troublemakers because by creating such trying circumstances they provide us with invaluable opportunities to practice tolerance and patience.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Don’t squat with your spurs on.”

Dalai Lama — “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.”

Dalai Lama — “Old friends pass away, new friends appear . . . The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend — or a meaningful day.”

Joe Ned Dean — “How can I miss you if you won’t go away?”

Dalai Lama — “Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Live a little, Bubba. Toss a couple of them habaneros in with the chili.”

Dalai Lama — “The various features and aspects of human life, such as longevity, good health, success, happiness and so forth . . . are all dependent on kindness and a good heart.”

Joe Ned Dean — “And a fine bird dog.”

Dalai Lama — “If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding.”

Joe Ned Dean — “Keep honking. I’m reloading.”

Dalai Lama — “Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it . . .”

Joe Ned Dean — “If I’d known I was gonna live this long, I would’ve taken better care of myself.”

Anyway, the Dalai Lama looked good in his gimme cap. I think he and Joe Ned would enjoy each other’s company at the coffee shop.

Donnis Baggett is publisher of the Waco Tribune-Herald . Email him at dbaggett@wacotrib.com.