Donnis Baggett

You know that autumn is on the way when a certain little yellow book with a hole in the corner hits the newstands.

Well, I’m delighted to report that fall is finally on the doorstep. The Old Farmer’s Almanac is on sale once again, promising “Everything under the Sun, including the Moon.”

My grandparents, like many of their generation, kept two go-to books in their home — The Old Farmer’s Almanac and The Holy Bible. One was considered an essential reference on food for the body, the other for the soul.

Even in its 220th edition, The OFA still has its trademark nail hole in the corner to keep it handy all year long.

Granny and Pawpaw kept theirs hanging on the kitchen wall and I’ve been reading this fine old periodical since I was old enough to reach the nail.

There are other almanacs out there, but The OFA is my favorite — not because I follow its lunar planting tables like Pawpaw did, but because it’s full of interesting information you just won’t find anywhere else.

Take the “At A Glance” section, which is a cornucopia of trivia.

Did you realize that each of us averages making four apologies per week or that commuters spend an average of 34 hours a year idling in traffic?

Did you know that 71 percent of us are “absolutely certain” of God’s existence — and that 71 percent of us also make our beds every day or almost every day? Maybe cleanliness really is next to godliness.

The almanac is known for its weather forecasts, but it also gets into fashion prognostication. This year the old farmer predicts we will see “garments that can be worn backward or upside down” and “convertible” shirt collars that disappear when they’re tucked in.

Oh, and bland colors are out, with people looking for bright pick-me-ups because of the sluggish economy. Who needs GQ when you can get news like that from OFA?

Recipes are always a key element of the almanac, and the 2012 edition is no exception. An article headlined “Mac & Cheese Outside the Box” offers a formula for a delicious-sounding macaroni dish featuring blue cheese, bacon and mushrooms.

Sounds like a natural for the Thanksgiving menu, doesn’t it?

Another almanac staple is information about miracle foods. This year, honey takes center stage.

Until I read “The Latest Buzz from the Beehive,” I didn’t realize that honey won’t spoil when it’s stored in an airtight container in its natural state. Or that raw honey can be used as a topical wound dressing.

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s an article titled “Ham on the Lam!” about the growing problem of wild hogs in our country.

Did you know that Texas is home to half the wild hogs in the United States? Or that feral hogs, which carry a variety of nasty diseases, may have been partly to blame for the 2006 outbreak of E. coli in bagged spinach?

Helping yourself

Self-help hints are a big draw to almanac readers. In the Health & Home section we learn you can:

*  Chew coffee beans to fight bad breath;

*  Soak smelly feet in brewed black tea to freshen them up; and,

*  Smear your bald head with some cow manure to “fertilize” hair.

After all that, Bubba, you’ll be ready for a Saturday night on the town. Or, at the very least, a Saturday night of hog hunting.

And while we’re on the how-to-do-it front, there’s a fine piece on Page 253 headlined “Still Another Way to Hypnotize A Chicken.” Yes, really. Here it goes:

“Gently restrain the chicken and place it on its back in your lap. Wave the flattened palm of your hand in a gentle circular motion about an inch or two from the chicken’s beak. The chicken should go limp somewhere between five and 10 circles.”

The Old Farmer’s Almanac doesn’t say exactly why you’d want to hypnotize a chicken in the first place. Maybe it has something to do with making it rain — which doesn’t look promising.

Dry forecast

The Texas-Oklahoma forecast on Page 212 calls for a dry winter followed by a dry summer.

If that’s so, a lot of old farmers will have plenty of reading time on their hands. And without a doubt, the little yellow volume with the hole in the corner will be the second-most popular book in the house.

Donnis Baggett is publisher and editor of the Waco Tribune-Herald . His email address is dbaggett@wacotrib.com. His mailing address is P.O. Box 2588, Waco, Texas, 76702-2588.