Nethaway: To change the conversation

WACO, Texas — The reasons for dating and mating are now cataloged.

Surely, the world is a better place.

A list of reasons for performing a natural human function offers the opportunity to peek inside the minds of people who choose to come together intimately.

According to researchers at the University of Texas at Austin, the reasons people give for having intimate physical contact — sex — are many and varied.

There are more reasons to have sex than I ever imagined.

UT psychologists Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss were quoted in a New York Times article by John Tierney saying that there are at least 237 reasons people use when they choose to "know" one another in the biblical sense.

During my high school and college years in the 1950s, many people reasoned that the only way they were going to experience intimate physical contact was to get married. There were pluses and minuses to this viewpoint.

That period of multiple petticoats, rubber girdles and societal proscriptions was largely swept aside in the following era of drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll.

The UT researchers asked nearly 2,000 people why they'd had sex. They assembled and categorized the responses, according to the New York Times story, into a total of 237 reasons that were published in an August issue of "Archives of Sexual Behavior."

This list of reasons for having sex has been touted as the most thorough taxonomy of sexual motivation ever compiled. Anything for science, as they say.

A number of respondents of both sexes said they'd had sex to get rid of a headache, which is wonderful information to have for people who want to counter the headache excuse as a reason to not have sex.

Others reasons revealed by the researchers included to "burn calories," "keep warm," "it's fun" and "I was attracted to the person."

A reason new to me was to "change the topic of conversation." That's a sure-fire way to change the subject. Discover disliked conversational topics and use them with discretion.

According to the article, men were more likely to say they'd had sex because, "I was slumming," "the opportunity presented itself" or "the person demanded that I have sex."

I wonder how often men have sex only because a woman demanded it?

The research revealed that women were more likely to say they had sex because, "I wanted to express my love for the person" and "I realized I was in love."

Being scientists, rather than just nosy, the UT researchers created four categories of reasons for having sex.

The "physical" category includes such reasons as the person had beautiful eyes, a desirable body or was too attractive to resist.

The "goal attainment" category included getting even with a cheating partner, breaking up a rival's relationship, making money, being popular or winning a bet. Not terribly lofty.

The "emotional" category had a variety of more romantic reasons, whereas the "insecurity" category included such reasons as fulfilling a duty, boosting self-esteem or getting a partner to spend more time together.

I don't know which category includes the "I was drunk" reason for having sex, which may be more of an excuse than a reason.

The article reported that a few respondents actually expressed the desire to have a child as a reason for having sex. How quaint.

Although procreation was way down on the list of reasons to have sex, perhaps this has always been the case with humans.

Bonobo chimpanzees use sex as a greeting, for conflict resolution, to maintain order and as a method to barter for food and security.

Perhaps that's what the free-love flower children of the 1960s were attempting to achieve with their "Make love, not war" slogan.

At any rate, we now know how to change the conversation.

Rowland Nethaway is senior editor of The Waco Tribune-Herald.