Steve Martin used to end stand-up routines with, “I’d like to thank you all for coming.” Then, swiveling his head, he’d rat-tat-tat off a “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you . . .” at every seat in the packed house.

Much of the last eight years when addressing out-of-staters, I’ve had the impulse to rattle, “So sorry. Pardon me. Excuse me. Please forgive. No harm meant.” Fortunately, I never had an audience that required stadium seating.

The misfortune for all progressive Texans has been the burden of being of the state from which so many bad ideas, and suspect deeds and doers, were exported to Washington, and hence the world. I’m talking about that “heckuva job” brigade whose job performance now inspires the enmity of just about eight of every 10 Americans.

What a relief to count off all the new Cabinet members and key staffers who aren’t from Texas.

Really. Let Illinois run the country into a culvert. We hereby surrender the wheel.

As an adopted Texan, I posited this Tex-angst to a natural-born one who shares my politics. He pointed out that the soon-to-be-gone Texan-in-chief actually is a product of Connecticut.

Furthermore, it’s wrong to slam a state that produced Sam Rayburn, Ann Richards and Earl Campbell. But it’s clear that over the last eight years Texas became too big even for its britches.

Politico.com’s Daniel Libid no doubt had fun writing, “On Jan. 20, Texas will become — please don’t throw things — just another state.”

He pointed out that not only would the executive branch be shedding Texans en masse, but only two Texans will chair committees in Congress, a situation unheard of.

Only two top-level Obama appointees — former Texas A&M chief and Bush holdover Robert Gates at the Pentagon and former Dallas mayor Ron Kirk as U.S. trade representative — have significant Texas ties.

Thank you very much.

Any chief executive is going to lean on people from back home. Still, it’s been galling throughout the last eight years to gnaw on the presumption, for instance, that the only people who knew anything about “fixing” education were from Texas.

The “Texas miracle” in education is snake oil, the “natural male enhancement” claim of public policy. On school reform, we’ve been living in Ross Perot’s cubicle for most of the last 20 years and don’t even have the ears to prove it.

Amazingly, the hyper-intrusive No Child Left Behind was the product of Republican sensibilities, and of Texas. The party which 30 years ago wanted to abolish the Education Department made it all-powerful. “Local control” be damned.

At the same time, Texas’ “What? Me worry?” approach to meeting human needs (proudly hugging the bottom in per capital spending among states) manifested itself nationally.

The Katrina nightmare was its ultimate manifestation. But the attitude was reflected in just about everything else, from “misunderestimating” what it takes to occupy and rebuild a foreign land, to pshawing government’s role in regulating finance, protecting the environment and keeping roads and bridges safe and passable.

Ron Kirk is a bright light and will represent Texas well. Bob Gates was an injection of sanity, actually uttering the “d” word — “diplomacy” — into a Pentagon run amok. Imagine that.

So, let a smaller contingent carry Texas’ banner into this new political era. Let Texas conservatives observe from afar.

As for one-time Bush aide Dan Barlett, who told Politico, “I won’t be surprised if there is a resurgence (by Texas conservatives) after this president rides off into the sunset.”

No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you.

John Young’s column appears Thursday and Sunday. E-mail: jyoung@wacotrib.com.