Sunday, April 27, 2008
The wild boar was grunting, deep, angry belly rumbles, punctuated by the occasional spontaneous squeal and slobbering snort.
His long snout and razor-sharp tusks roto-tilled the hard, dark forest terra firma like an industrial beast gone mad.
Petite 11-year-old Brook clutched her bow tightly and looked at her uncle with eyes the size of full moons. The increasing heat of late morning was already beginning to toast the wonderland, but the beads of sweat on the young hunter's brow were not temperature-inspired.
No, those were bowhunting party beads, happy beads, beads for the kill.
This pretty young lady knows how to party. Her parties include fresh, organic pork on the grill, and she's not going to the grocery store, thank you.
Brook is a killer, a bowhunter, a woman of the wild. A shebeast. Only 11 and more than ready to rock, Doc. PigManDo! No problem. Let's get it on, McPork.
An ardent fan of "Spirit of the Wild" TV, Brook and her brother made it a point to watch every show every week.
She sat in wonderment at the dazzling, svelte blonde babe named Shemane, with her trusty bow and arrow, walking the wild, always smiling happily with her giddy husband, killing big game with a lightweight bow and a single, razor-sharp arrow.
"I can do that," Brook would exclaim. "I can be the Queen of the Forest. Let's go huntin', baby!"
She earned her kill that day, performing the challenging list of bowhunter demands to put a razor-sharp Magnus Stinger clean through the vitals of the gnarly beast. She went on to bowkill a handsome wild ram as well.
Girls don't bowhunt? Bullpork. Girls just wanna have fun, and more and more of them are coming to the exciting revelation that there is nothing more fun than hunting, fishing, trapping and shooting.
My daughter Sasha killed her first Texas whitetail with a rifle way back in 1981 when she was just 8.
She is a crackshot with most firearms and quite handy with various full auto machineguns and sniper rifles.
Likewise, my Queen of the Forest picked up on the thrills and joys of the shooting sports in no time.
Shemane had never fired a gun or bow when we met, but she was quick to discover the disciplined shootist within.
She has gone on to introduce many gals to firearms and archery and she has bowkilled many big-game animals in America and Africa. Loving the sport has driven her to become a leading force in the recruitment of women into the shooting sports worldwide.
When introduced thoughtfully and properly, women immediately fall in love with guns, hunting and the outdoor lifestyle.
Not only do they make the greatest hunting and shooting partners in the world, they demonstrate a powerful believability to everyone how dishonest the media propaganda machine is in misrepresenting these things we all love so much.
Nothing says pro-gun and pro-hunting like an army of female participants, voters and activists.
Target the women in your life and let's create a team of female commandos to once and for all crush those who would deny us these wonderful pursuits of happiness in America.
Ted Nugent is a Waco-based musician and television show host. Contact him directly at tednugent.com.
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