Sunday, April 13, 2008
"Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses."
So goes the chorus in that hell-raising country song by my BloodBrother Toby Keith and band.
RECENT COLUMNS BY THE TEXAS WILDMAN
- 11-16-08 Ted Nugent: Obama's victory is sad vote for state of dependency
- 11-09-08 Ted Nugent: The few, the proud
- 11-02-08 Ted Nugent: America needs real change, not Obama's fantasy drivel
- 10-26-08 Ted Nugent: Grateful celebrity celebrates going silver-haired
- 10-19-08 Ted Nugent: Let's emulate my tap-dancing grandma
The tune celebrates how a posse of good citizens charges forth to save a damsel in distress from evil criminal punks.
Upon completion of the good deed, grand hoopla erupts at the local tavern for the return of law and order and security to the neighborhood.
I'm no country music fan, but I can surely get next to the concept of good over evil, like community policing and Neighborhood Watch programs.
The song is about good citizens responding to dangerous situations and bringing about justice. Some call it vigilantism. I call it taking care of business.
Well, since so many music fans so dearly embraced Toby's clever hit song and video featuring him and our good Texas friend, Willie Nelson, why not go the whole nine yards? Why not an entire feature-length movie around it? Why not indeed.
So, my phone rings. Old buddy Toby is telling me all about this not-so-fictional character he and co-writer Rodney Carrington — the master songwriter/comedian/poet — have created for me.
The name is Skunk Tarver.
Old Skunk is an uppity, defiant, long-haired, over-the-top rock 'n' roll deputy sheriff in Jackson County, Okla., who loves bowhunting and guns. He will do whatever is necessary to keep Jackson County safe from criminal danger.
Having spent so much time together in Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan, Europe and on the road touring America, Toby claims to get a kick out of me and thinks moviegoers would as well. How nice.
So there we were in beautiful Santa Fe, N.M., along with more than 100 technicians, producers, directors, lights, cameras and professionals from Hollyweird and across America, filming this feature-length hoedown gitdown of a movie. It was wild.
Director Michael Solomon and assistant director Joe McDougal have taken Toby and Rodney's script and have produced one hell of an exciting, very funny movie.
Willie Nelson returns as a traveling gypsy circus operator and more familiar Hollywood star actors like Tom Skerritt, Claire Forlani and Barry Corbin bring some magical moments to the screen.
Old Skunk — that's me — will leave you laughing from the belly, I assure you. Plus, he shoots flaming arrows at corrupt Mexican federales. That is worth the price of admission for people who dream of justice south of the border. Good entertainment.
Actually, the real star is a lovable American bulldog named Junior. He twists his body into pretzel-like contortions as he aggressively licks certain anatomical locations of his canine self for sheer comedic humor. And he eventually saves the day.
The dog is adorable. We became best of friends.
The good governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson, hosted us in a fine culinary party at the governor's mansion. He has shown great leadership in creating intelligent incentives for moviemakers to spend their wads of money in this stunning border state.
Accordingly, more feature films are shot in New Mexico than in any other state these days. A Democrat providing tax breaks. Whodathunk?
In fact, the governor and I are working with his departments of tourism, game and fish, and economic development to create a very special Ted Nugent Spirit of New Mexico outdoors show in this outdoorsmen's paradise. It is proof positive that logic and positive teamwork are not partisan. Good folk always get along no matter their political affiliation.
Hell, Toby Keith thinks he's a Democrat!
We expect this fun movie to show up in a theater near you sometime in August or September this year. Though my acting experiences are limited to but a few films and TV shows, I have the feeling that this will be the perfect movie for the whole family. It is PG-13 where the good guys win and old Skunk shows how the mystical flight of the arrow is a beautiful thing when in the right hands.
I'm not into whiskey or beer, but for this movie, I can make an exception.
Ted Nugent is a Waco-based musician and television show host. Contact Ted directly at tednugent.com.
Vote for this story!
