“Father Knows Best” went the title of the 1950s television series, but it would never survive in today’s reality television.

At the Hoover household, it’s a heavily qualified phrase, particularly after last weekend.

I was working in the garden with 7-and-a-half-year-old Harper roller-skating in the street. The next thing I know, there’s a shriek, then a wail of pain, and my oldest daughter, Hallie, is running to summon me: Harper’s down.

I found her in the driveway near the curb, crying that her leg hurt. Then her toes were stinging, badly. I got the roller skates off, thinking maybe ants were in her sock. Nothing, but her leg hurts. A lot. Then her ankle.

No scrape on her shin, no bruising on the leg or ankle, little swelling that I could see.

I asked what happened, hoping to find a clue on what got injured and how, but Harper wasn’t in the mood to answer. “Quit interviewing me, Dad!” she yelled through tears.

I got her into the house where my wife, Paula, was quick to minister with ice, towels, pillows and an impromptu bed on the living room couch. “Do you think she has a broken leg?” she asked.

“I think we’d see a bruise or swelling there, but I’m not seeing anything,” I replied. “Where she’s hurting keeps changing. I bet it’s a sprained ankle and she’s just never had anything this painful.”

As afternoon turned into evening, Harper was still hurting. “Should we go to the emergency room to see if anything’s broken?” Paula said.

On Saturday night? The travel and waiting might be more painful and if it’s just a sprain, we’d get the same advice that we were following now: rest, ice, elevation.

Middle daughter Helen, who has expressed interest in a medical career, added her two cents on what to do: “It’s RICE: Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation,” she advised. “I learned that from The Learning Channel.”

Harper, in a woe-be-gone voice from the couch, commented, “I didn’t know what the C was. I thought it meant Cut It Off.”

Just to make sure we hadn’t overlooked a key clue to Harper’s injury, I checked the symptom flow chart in our Harvard Family Medical Guide. All but one of the four symptoms leading to “Go to the doctor now” were negative; “persistent pain” was the hold-out.

I opted for continued RICE, well, RIE, as we didn’t see anything swelling enough to compress.

By Sunday evening, the young sprain victim already had triaged her family in terms of assistance. “Mom does the most to make me feel better. Hallie and Helen help a little bit,” she said. “And Dad is good at telling me what’s happening.”

Monday morning came and Paula took the hobbling Hoover to the doctor. The X-rays spoke, and father did not know best: Broken leg.

By midweek, Harper, fitted with a light blue leg cast and enthroned on the living room recliner, was working with Hallie to film a video on “How to Make a Salad For the President, While You Have a Broken Leg.”

I don’t know what to say. Maybe it’s best that way.

Carl Hoover is the Tribune-Herald entertainment editor. He can be reached at 757-5749 or choover@wacotrib.com. And be sure to check out his blog at wacotrib.com/soundsight.