Zombie madness downtown!

By J.B. Smith

A late Waco mayor is remembered for saying that downtown Waco was "brain-dead" and was never coming back. Not so well remembered was that the phrase was something like "practically brain-dead," and that he later recanted, after seeing the progress at RiverSquare.

Still, it's possible Mr. McGlasson knew more than anyone imagined.

On Wednesday a horde of zombies descended on downtown, with grotesque faces, dead eyes and bone-chilling cries for brains. They burst into the Olive Branch cafe as horrified patrons looked on. Then they ordered soups and salads.

As you may have read in Wendy's blog, the zombie parade was part of the first-ever Waco flash mob, fittingly scheduled for high noon April 1. Most of the dozen or so participants were summoned by electronic means (Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, blogs, etc). But two of our liveliest undead were my neighbors, summoned by a knock at the door: Stephen and Ashley, their toddler, Olive; and Paul.

True, it would have been slightly more menacing if we had been a mob of at least 30 or 40 fully costumed zombies, as the shadowy organizers of this event hoped. It would have helped if some of us weren't laughing as we staggered past confused shopkeepers, diners and social services clients. (One street character at Sixth and Austin muttered at us earnestly, as if this was a normal but vexing occurrence in his world).

It might have been more convincing if my fedora (with "Press" card) and Ace bandage had not blown off and into the street, stopping traffic and forcing me to break character.

And maybe we should have thought about the awkwardness of actually waiting in a long line at a popular new cafe with red dye/Karo syrup blood dripping down our faces and clothes.

Still, a threshold has been crossed, a gauntlet has been thrown down. After all, if zombies can wander the streets undisturbed and sit down for a civilized lunch, Waco must be tolerant enough to accept all kinds of folks, right?

Anyway, I'm up for the next flash mob, if someone else would like to organize it. Just let me know when and where.

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