Revolution (and pollen) in the air

By J.B. Smith

This is not a political blog. So may I say, concerning Wednesday’s Tea Party tax protest, what a fine tradition peaceful political protest is in America and what a fine free-speech venue Heritage Square has shaped up to be.

I should leave it at that, perhaps adding that it was a glorious spring day straight out of a Claritin commercial, full of dappled light, cool breezes and clouds of oak pollen.
The crowd of a few hundred, carrying various flags of classic American belligerence (Don’t Tread on Me, Come and Take It), seemed peaceable enough as they cheered antigovernment rhetoric.

The brand new Square Bar and Kitchen beckoned the angry/hungry/thirsty with a sign proclaiming its support of the party and a special: Free iced tea with lunch!
A local radio squawk jock, squawking more than usual on a tin-can-sized bullhorn, thanked the crowd and urged it to support his station and advertisers. Politicians stumped, though they seemed put off balance by the lack of a real microphone.

One man handed me a documentary Obama DVD by the conspiracy guru Alex Jones, so I’ll soon know the shocking truth about our commander-in-chief. (Hitler youth? Space alien?)

As for signs, pigs were in, as in pork. So was a pun on the word “change,” as in spare change we’ll have after Obama taxes the bejesus out of us. Tyranny, socialism and puns on “Obama” were mainstays. Exclamation points were in.

The ribbon for most creative went to a woman who took photos of Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi and President Obama, dressed them up as cute little buccaneers. “The Real Pirates,” her placard read.

But wait. Aren’t the Somali pirates, who even as I type are assaulting real American sailors off the Horn of Africa, real enough? I bet the pirates are smarting at the suggestion that democratically elected American politicians outdid them on pirate cred. Arrrggh!

I heard a lot of rhetoric indistinguishable from garden-variety AM talk radio. Serious discussions of public policy? Not so much.

I wanted to ask: “What is the threshold between normal taxation for the common good and ‘socialism’ and how do we know we’ve crossed it? Does socialism mean raising taxes on the top tax bracket to 40 percent (it was in the 70s throughout Reagan’s first term)? And how many of these protesters earn more than $250,000 a year, anyway?”

But I knew better. We reporters are expected to be political celibates (some would prefer eunuchs.) So again, nice party, guys. Viva la democracia!

I left after it became clear that there would be no final catharsis, no storming of the Bastille, no dumping of Bigelow Earl Grey into the Brazos. Besides, I really needed to take a Claritin.

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