Chef Oz: Inside the CIA

Chef Oz: Inside the CIA

Not that CIA, mind you. Longtime Waco chef Mike Osborne is in New York, where's he's enrolled in The Culinary Institute of America. He'll share tidbits of food lore, recipes galore, the inside scoop on couscous and general observations about life as he knows it.

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Home > Chef Oz: Inside the CIA > Archives > 2009 > May > 18 > Entry

Fwah Graaaaaahhhhh: Fare or Fowl?

By Michael Osborne | Monday, May 18, 2009, 08:41 AM

Last weekend I had an opportunity to tour Hudson Valley Foie Gras, basically a duck farm that provides 52% of the foie gras consumed in this country. This is going to be fairly long for a blog, but please bear with me.

So, let’s talk about one of my most favorite, but highly controversial food subjects—foie gras. It also happens to be one of my most highly esteemed munch items. For starters you might want to know a couple of factoids, like what is it and how does one pronounce it properly. After all, it’s a funny looking, foreign sounding, probably French name. Am I right? Thought so. What it is is the overgrown liver of a goose (in France) or duck (in the USA). How it came to be super-sized is a pretty interesting story we’ll get around to by and by. But first, here’s how to pronounce it: FWAH GRAH. Say it with me, FWAH GRAH. It’s not phooey grass or foy grawl unless you’re from Marlin, Texas. Whenever I say it I like to drag out the AAAAHHHH part for dramatic effect. That’s because foie gras is one of the most delectable delicacies in the whole wide world that choosey omnivores like me will devour—when they get lucky.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. You’re going, “KEY-RIPES, MAN! THAT’S LIVER! Why would anybody eat THAT?” Right? As it turns out, folks around the globe have been slobbering over foie gras for the last 5,000 years or so. The ancient Egyptians were about as big on foie gras as they were on pyramid schemes. In fact, there are heiroglyphics of servants carrying platters of foie tattooed into the walls of the tombs of the pharaohs. Toot Uncommon, the Boy King, put it on his ancient cheerios and slurped it up from a bowl precariously perched atop the noggin of a kneeling minion named Moses. But the Egyptians didn’t call it foie gras. None of them could speak French until Napoleon came to visit many centuries later. Nope, back in the day they called it Q’ttubah al Hummah. I’m not too sure of the spelling, but loosely translated it means, “What am I? Chopped LIVAH?” I’ve only been in New York for 6-weeks and already have the effing attitude. Go figure.

Back at the start of this rant I mentioned that foie gras is controversial. In fact, it’s been banned in places like Chicago, California, and other places that start with a “C” by people who I might refer to with a name that starts with “Chicken” and ends with “its.” I’ll leave it up to you to fill in the blanks—just remember, I always think clean thoughts. What’s all the hubbub about? It seems that some people of the PETA persuasion (People Ethical Treatment Animals) take issue with the care and feeding practices of the cottage industry that produces foie gras. Personally, I’m all in favor of treating animals right because I’m going to be eating animals, right? The harsh reality is that in order for us to eat, something has to die. It makes sense for us to take utmost care with our food supply. We should try our hardest to sustainably produce the best possible quality livestock if we plan on ingesting and digesting them. We have to do all in our power to raise the bestest, healthiest, happiest, hardiest, beasties they can be. We must treat them in a humane way and slaughter them humanely. Foie gras producers in the US are model citizens in this regard. But, instead of tackling the gigantic, deep-pocketed corporations that give us dirt-cheap government subsidized protein in the form of beef, chicken,and pork, all of which could use a major overhaul, by the way, PETA’s been picking on the three remaining producers of foie gras. That’s right, there are only three in the entire USA who raise a special breed of duck (Moullard) for the production of foie gras, and they don’t have the fiscal clout of a flea compared to BIG chicken, pork, or beef. The poor little foie folks get pelted by PETA with lawsuits, a big lobbying effort in various state legislatures, and by those nutty PETA pranksters who get their kicks throwing bricks through the windows of restaurants that serve foie gras. They have singled out this insignificant segment of specialty poultry producers because, like a schoolyard bully, it’s a fight they think they’re going to win. Foie, while ridiculously expensive on restaurant menus, just doesn’t generate enough cash to fend off the lawyers who are the very types who love foie gras in the first place. This makes me crazy.

Why all the misguided rancor over something as ancient and innocuous as fattened up waterfowl liver? It has to do with the issue of force feeding. In the last month of a Moullard duck’s life it is fed a diet rich in corn by means of a feeding tube carefully inserted into the throat which deposits a controlled ration of feed into the crop of the duck—the crop, not the gut. The crop is where birds store their food before it is ground up by the gizzard and then passes into the digestive tract. The duck doesn’t mind this at all. It is not an act of cruelty. I have witnessed this procedure with my own eyes and verily, I say unto you, these ducks are digging it!

Remember these two important facts about duck physiology. Their esophagus is a lot more leathery than ours. It has to be in order for them to swallow a diet of crustaceans, fish with spiny fins, rocks, shells, grains, and grasses. No teeth—no chew—must swallow whole. That feeding tube is no problem at all. Secondly, waterfowl in general have evolved to grow big livers. The liver is the place they store fat (which equates to energy) so they can have the stamina to migrate. The foie gras producers are just aiding a process nature designed over the eons. And there’s something else to consider. Think about what a single chicken in a Pilgrim’s Pride Poultry Processing Plant might be worth in terms of dollars and cents. Remember you can buy a whole chicken in almost any grocery store for around five bucks retail. These foie gras ducks are worth around $70 each WHOLESALE! They don’t just tear out the livers and throw the rest away like dove hunters do with dove breasts. These guys use everything because it all has real value—breasts for grilling, legs for confit, rendered fat for cooking, carcasses for stock, feathers for pillows, the rest for pet food. And oh yeah…there’s that marvelous mound of liver lobe which can get as big as two pounds. It behooves the caretakers to treat these valuable ducks with a level of respect that’s astronomically higher than the luckiest free-range chicken will ever experience.

I think it’s time to tell the anti-foies and foie-foes to shut the hell up and go bother somebody who deserves bothering, like Wall Street bankers and insurance big shots. There are lots of interesting things I’d like to do with some of their livers. Actually there’s a recipe I’ve been meaning to try from the Spanish Inquisition Cookbook, but I’m going to need a deep Friar.

If they do manage to ban foie gras there will be a hue and outcry from the ranks of highly skilled, trained, and motivated food professionals, such as myself. There will be weeping, wailing, and gnashing of porcelain capped incisors from the multitudes of diners. Allow me to paraphrase Anthony Bourdain: Taking foie gras away from a chef is like telling an artist the color purple is illegal. It would be a lily-livered shame to lose something this precious due to the misguided outrage of one group’s much ado about nothing.

Next time you’re out at a ritzy restaurant, try the foie gras and prepare to be amazed. It’s truly like nothing else—extraordinarily fatty, but in a fantastical way. It pairs so well with something sweet, fruity, and acidic and should be served with a sweet wine like a Sauterne, port, or ice wine. Try it and thank me later.

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